“There is no one righteous, not even one.” – Romans 3:10 (NIV)
“There is no one who does good, not even one.” – Psalm 14:3 (NIV)
It is easy to see ourselves as the innocent party in a conflict. When someone wrongs us, we feel justified in our anger. We nurse our wounds, replay the offense in our minds, and convince ourselves that we are the victim. But what if our perspective is flawed? What if, in the grand scheme of things, we are not as righteous as we believe?
The Trap of Self-Righteous Victimhood
Self-righteousness doesn’t always come from pride or arrogance—it can also be born out of victimhood. When we are hurt, we often feel morally superior to the person who hurt us. “I didn’t deserve this,” we tell ourselves. “They were wrong to treat me this way.” And while it may be true that we were wronged, what we fail to see is that the other person has been hurt, too.
Take, for example, two friends—David and Mark. One day, Mark harshly criticizes David in front of others. David, feeling humiliated, distances himself from Mark, convinced that Mark is cruel and insensitive. But what David does not see is that Mark himself was ridiculed earlier that day by his boss. Mark was acting out of his own pain.
David, feeling justified in his hurt, does not reach out to Mark. Mark, in turn, feels rejected and hurt by David’s coldness. Each man believes he is the victim, each sees himself as the one who has been wronged, and neither realizes the deeper truth: they are both part of a long chain of brokenness stretching far beyond their own experiences.
Tracing the Brokenness Back to the Beginning
If we were to trace this pattern backward, we would see that hurt does not begin with us. Mark was wronged by his boss. His boss, perhaps, was mistreated by his father. His father, maybe, was abandoned as a child. If we follow the path far enough, we find that all hurt, all sin, all injustice, goes back to the beginning—to the first act of rebellion in the Garden of Eden.
Adam and Eve, in their disobedience, first wronged God. He created them, loved them, provided for them, and yet they chose their own way. Their sin introduced pain, division, and death into the world. Every act of wrongdoing we see today is merely an echo of that original fall.
So when we hold onto self-righteousness, when we declare ourselves victims and others as villains, we forget one crucial truth: we are all sinners. No one is righteous—not you, not me, not the person who hurt you. Only God is truly righteous.
Breaking the Cycle: Reflecting on Our Own Actions
While it’s easy to point out when we’ve been hurt, it’s much harder to acknowledge the ways we may have passed that hurt onto others. But as followers of Christ, we are called to a higher standard—one that demands self-awareness and self-control.
“A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.” – Proverbs 29:11 (ESV)
Rather than reacting out of our pain, we must pause and reflect:
- Have I responded in anger instead of love?
- Have I spoken words that wounded rather than healed?
- Have I passed my frustration onto someone else instead of surrendering it to God?
The Apostle Paul reminds us that self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). It is a gift, but also a responsibility. When we allow the Holy Spirit to guide us, we learn to stop the cycle of hurt rather than perpetuate it.
When we surrender our emotions and reactions to God, we can break the chain of sin instead of continuing it. We can radiate Christ to the world instead of reflecting our own pain.
Living as a Reflection of Christ
As Christians, we are called to be a light in the darkness. That means choosing love over resentment, mercy over judgment, and self-control over emotional outbursts. Jesus Himself, though He was truly innocent, chose to forgive rather than condemn.
“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” – Luke 6:36 (NIV)
When we hold onto self-righteousness, we fail to show the grace that God has shown us. But when we seek His wisdom and allow His Spirit to guide us, we can rise above the cycle of hurt and become instruments of His peace.
Lazarevic Ministries 